Saturday, September 25, 2004
gravestmor ? do it yourself
Step One: Gather your entire village together in one spot.
Step Two: With your fellow villagers, go out and chop down some trees.
Step Three: Again with the villagers, lean the trees up against each other, forming a kind of tree tee-pee.
Step Four: Seal up all the gaps between the trees using other trees if necessary. This step is essential for later steps so make sure the tee-pee is water tight.
Step Five: Make a big timber box around the tree tee-pee. This will be used as form work for the next twenty four steps.
Step Six: Pour 50cm of concrete into the formwork and leave for a day.
Steps Seven to Twentynine: Each day pour another 50cm of concrete until you reach the top. If you have followed the instructions correctly you should have a big concrete box with lots of horizontal lines on it. Inside the box should be an intact tee-pee made from trees that you and your fellow villagers cut down with ancient farming tools.
Step Thirty: Go inside the tree tee-pee. Light the trees on fire.
Step Thirtyone: Run outside and let trees burn.
Step Thirtytwo: Once trees have burnt away go back inside and clear away the debris.
You should now have a big concrete box with a hole in the middle shaped like a tee-pee. If you don’t have something like this, go back through the steps to check where you got it wrong, otherwise post a comment below and one of our staff members will attempt to help you out.
Step Thirtythree: The final step is to pour floor liquid silver over the floor. This will make the floor nice and reflective.
Google Search: gutter size calc points to an imaginative PDF that looks at rainwater catchment systems in the San Juan Islands.
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